Spring Break
The Daily OrangeHoroscopes
By
Posted: 12/6/04, 1:56 AM EST Section: Pulp
This week, our unlicensed astrologers tell your fortune based on your favorite emoticon.
:-!
After a night of heavy drinking, you'll realize just prior to boarding your plane home that you're still drunk. This is a good thing, since you're not nearly as good of a singer when you're sober - especially in public.
:-*
Your significant other will return from a 21st birthday on the town only to flash your roommate.
## : -&
Blues music is good for grinding to. Blues music is not good for grinding to with three of your best opposite-sex friends.
:-\
You will attempt suicide 35 times, one for each page of history, English and poli-sci papers you have yet to write. Too bad paper cuts are so tiny.
O:-)
"Do you want to come over and play Risk?" is nerd-speak for "do you want to come over and watch movies?" "Do you want to come over and watch movies" is everybody-speak for "do you want to come over and get it on?"
:-P
You are having no idea how good this is tasting right now.
8-)
Shivering outside in 25-degree weather while acting in a student film, you'll realize that television, radio and film roommates are the most dangerous type of roommate. Except for chainsaw design roommates.
>:o
You get away with parking illegally overnight, only to promptly get pulled over and ticketed for making an illegal left turn the next morning. Good thing the cop didn't know about the 12 stolen mailboxes in your trunk.
:-[
The change machine will only produce three quarters for your dollar, leaving you in a mad scramble under the washers in search of more money. Too bad all you come up with is a fist full of soapy lint.
;-)
Be forewarned - vanilla extract contains a lot of alcohol. But that doesn't mean you get to act drunk after eating a fresh batch of cookies. Unless you're drinking heavily at the same time.
=-O
Your Mexican fiesta night will turn into Mexican disaster night after your rice pot explodes. Weeks later, the fiesta is still going when you find grains under the toaster, behind the stove and in your roommate's laundry.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
Don't get too stressed out over finals. After all, in the grand scheme of things, whether you pass your chem exam or not doesn't really matter, which your second moon of Capricorn will help you to discover.
:-!
After a night of heavy drinking, you'll realize just prior to boarding your plane home that you're still drunk. This is a good thing, since you're not nearly as good of a singer when you're sober - especially in public.
:-*
Your significant other will return from a 21st birthday on the town only to flash your roommate.
## : -&
Blues music is good for grinding to. Blues music is not good for grinding to with three of your best opposite-sex friends.
:-\
You will attempt suicide 35 times, one for each page of history, English and poli-sci papers you have yet to write. Too bad paper cuts are so tiny.
O:-)
"Do you want to come over and play Risk?" is nerd-speak for "do you want to come over and watch movies?" "Do you want to come over and watch movies" is everybody-speak for "do you want to come over and get it on?"
:-P
You are having no idea how good this is tasting right now.
8-)
Shivering outside in 25-degree weather while acting in a student film, you'll realize that television, radio and film roommates are the most dangerous type of roommate. Except for chainsaw design roommates.
>:o
You get away with parking illegally overnight, only to promptly get pulled over and ticketed for making an illegal left turn the next morning. Good thing the cop didn't know about the 12 stolen mailboxes in your trunk.
:-[
The change machine will only produce three quarters for your dollar, leaving you in a mad scramble under the washers in search of more money. Too bad all you come up with is a fist full of soapy lint.
;-)
Be forewarned - vanilla extract contains a lot of alcohol. But that doesn't mean you get to act drunk after eating a fresh batch of cookies. Unless you're drinking heavily at the same time.
=-O
Your Mexican fiesta night will turn into Mexican disaster night after your rice pot explodes. Weeks later, the fiesta is still going when you find grains under the toaster, behind the stove and in your roommate's laundry.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
Don't get too stressed out over finals. After all, in the grand scheme of things, whether you pass your chem exam or not doesn't really matter, which your second moon of Capricorn will help you to discover.
