Spring Break
The Daily OrangeHoroscopes
By
Posted: 10/24/05, 12:46 AM EST Section: Pulp
This week, our unlicensed astrologers tell your fortune based on your favorite Broadway musical.
"The Sound of Music"
You will participate in a quadrisect of urination on one of SU's most prominent buildings. The best part - one of you will be a girl.
"Rent"
We know it's drizzly outside, but you'll want to remember to remove your raincoat before passing out on your couch. Or at least your boots.
"Avenue Q"
The next edition of SU promotional material will feature kids playing Frisbee on the Quad, shining academic landscapes ... and you passed out in Panasci lounge with random guys posing next to you, thus attracting a totally new demographic of students.
"Hairspray"
Through a series of ridiculous encounters involving AIM, a girl in your statistics class and binoculars, you will confirm rumors that your much older suspected stalker is definitely your actual stalker.
"The Lion King"
You'll be seduced by White Castle. Then you'll find out that it's not a drink. Oops.
"Phantom of the Opera"
On your way back to SU after a weekend away, you'll be pulled over for your first speeding ticket. Apparently you weren't going quite fast enough though, because you'll be one exit away from home.
"The Producers"
How many sophomores does it take to open a wine bottle? Well, if you give them 15 minutes, a little bit of elbow grease and a severely bruised chin, three.
"Seven Brides for Seven Brothers"
A Saturday night movie fest will devolve to a sex scene review. "Cruel Intentions" will totally win hands-down.
"West Side Story"
You'll watch "Jurassic Park" for the first time in years, and realize that it kinda sucks. Except for the cinematography of course. That rocks.
"Grease"
If you wake up with your ID missing, don't be surprised if you find four bags of Cheetos in your bed. Oh, that wily Chester.
"Cats"
Your late-night Kimmel adventure will not be topped by the screaming baseball rivalry that happens between the table on your left and right, but instead by the amazement you see on every person's face as your friend solves a Rubik's cube, hands it off to be messed up and solves it again within a five minute period. It will only become more amazing as he repeats this task all night.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23 to Dec. 22)
The moon will blow up.
"The Sound of Music"
You will participate in a quadrisect of urination on one of SU's most prominent buildings. The best part - one of you will be a girl.
"Rent"
We know it's drizzly outside, but you'll want to remember to remove your raincoat before passing out on your couch. Or at least your boots.
"Avenue Q"
The next edition of SU promotional material will feature kids playing Frisbee on the Quad, shining academic landscapes ... and you passed out in Panasci lounge with random guys posing next to you, thus attracting a totally new demographic of students.
"Hairspray"
Through a series of ridiculous encounters involving AIM, a girl in your statistics class and binoculars, you will confirm rumors that your much older suspected stalker is definitely your actual stalker.
"The Lion King"
You'll be seduced by White Castle. Then you'll find out that it's not a drink. Oops.
"Phantom of the Opera"
On your way back to SU after a weekend away, you'll be pulled over for your first speeding ticket. Apparently you weren't going quite fast enough though, because you'll be one exit away from home.
"The Producers"
How many sophomores does it take to open a wine bottle? Well, if you give them 15 minutes, a little bit of elbow grease and a severely bruised chin, three.
"Seven Brides for Seven Brothers"
A Saturday night movie fest will devolve to a sex scene review. "Cruel Intentions" will totally win hands-down.
"West Side Story"
You'll watch "Jurassic Park" for the first time in years, and realize that it kinda sucks. Except for the cinematography of course. That rocks.
"Grease"
If you wake up with your ID missing, don't be surprised if you find four bags of Cheetos in your bed. Oh, that wily Chester.
"Cats"
Your late-night Kimmel adventure will not be topped by the screaming baseball rivalry that happens between the table on your left and right, but instead by the amazement you see on every person's face as your friend solves a Rubik's cube, hands it off to be messed up and solves it again within a five minute period. It will only become more amazing as he repeats this task all night.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23 to Dec. 22)
The moon will blow up.
