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The Daily OrangeTop 5 marijuana statistics
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Posted: 4/20/06, 1:00 AM EST Section: Pulp
In honor of April 20 (4/20), here are our top five statistics about marijuana.
1. Forty percent of smokers were planning to write their congressman to legalize marijuana, but instead they used the paper to roll joints.
2. Smoking one marijuana cigarette increases the tar in the lungs about four times more than one filtered tobacco cigarette. Smoking five marijuana cigarettes increases the size of a person's hands to "like, so big, man. Whoa."
3. The ability to drive a motor vehicle becomes reduced 100 percent after smoking a marijuana cigarette, because the user becomes too distracted by the "shininess" of the keys to use them.
4. Smoking grass on the Quad is only legal if it's real grass, which has been proven to be worse for your health in the long run. What a country!
5. Recent studies into marijuana have proven that people do not lose brain cells while smoking. Instead, the tests have shown that what you do lose is sour cream and onion chips with dip, beef jerky, peanut butter, Haagen-Dazs ice cream bars, some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars to make s'mores. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch Berries, pizzas, two big pizzas with everything on 'em, water, whole lotta water and Funyons.
1. Forty percent of smokers were planning to write their congressman to legalize marijuana, but instead they used the paper to roll joints.
2. Smoking one marijuana cigarette increases the tar in the lungs about four times more than one filtered tobacco cigarette. Smoking five marijuana cigarettes increases the size of a person's hands to "like, so big, man. Whoa."
3. The ability to drive a motor vehicle becomes reduced 100 percent after smoking a marijuana cigarette, because the user becomes too distracted by the "shininess" of the keys to use them.
4. Smoking grass on the Quad is only legal if it's real grass, which has been proven to be worse for your health in the long run. What a country!
5. Recent studies into marijuana have proven that people do not lose brain cells while smoking. Instead, the tests have shown that what you do lose is sour cream and onion chips with dip, beef jerky, peanut butter, Haagen-Dazs ice cream bars, some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars to make s'mores. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch Berries, pizzas, two big pizzas with everything on 'em, water, whole lotta water and Funyons.
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 67
Anonymous
posted 4/20/06 @ 3:59 AM EST
in the immortal words of eric cartmen
"ur a fuckin faggit dude"
Anonymous
posted 4/20/06 @ 1:29 PM EST
really, really, really, not funny at all, get a clue man.
Anonymous
posted 4/20/06 @ 1:50 PM EST
I wish I could shit on your face and have your mother lick it up after.
Anonymous
posted 4/21/06 @ 1:33 PM EST
Remember when comedy was fun? www.blogthirtyfour.blogspot.com
Anonymous
posted 4/21/06 @ 9:16 PM EST
Dude, You're such a misguided looser.
Anonymous
posted 4/22/06 @ 2:01 PM EST
NOT FUNNY AND VERY LAME!
FACT NUMBER 1. The Prohibition on Cannabis is unjust and harms society...
Anonymous
posted 5/02/06 @ 5:15 PM EST
god how i want you hit you so hard at the moment
Anonymous
posted 6/13/06 @ 4:54 PM EST
seriously how much gayer can somone be
Anonymous
posted 6/23/06 @ 10:45 AM EST
i love stoners ,....they're so,......well, so,.......i mean so.......,so creatively stoned,....ya know? and thats good........
Kikaen Jaganshi
posted 11/07/06 @ 3:50 PM EST
It's not funny... but I don't think it's supposed to be... this stuff is serious and guess what, all of it's TRUE just look it up
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