Spring Break
The Daily OrangePainting the White House orange
Our columnist chooses which ex-SU student deserves a spot in the Oval Office
By Nathan Mattise
Posted: 1/22/08, 12:15 AM EST Section: Feature
But the reason why these ex-students don't make it past the first cut is the electability test. If you mentioned their names casually to a stranger, there is a 70-to-30 chance they'll have no idea who you're talking about. Lexington Steele sounds more like a men's razor brand if you're not up on major porn stars, and people might know Pete Yorn for the infectious whistle-soloed summer tune "Young Folks." (Except "Young Folks," is by Peter Bjorn and John. If your most famous song is by another artist, there's no way you can get elected).
The Bill Richardson / Mike Huckabee (Vice) Presidential Realm
Tom Everett Scott (actor), Donovan McNabb (Eagles QB), New York (VH1 fixture), Larry Csonka (Ex-NFL player and original announcer for American Gladiator)
Richardson is the governor of New Mexico who was flirting with being a top-three Democratic candidate but has recently fallen short in the primaries. In the Richardson Realm, these former undergrads clearly are not out of the conversation, but something is missing (except for Scott. I bet he wouldn't pass the electability test, but he was Shades in "That Thing You Do," so he gets a pass).
For instance, McNabb is great, but his Eagles had "Buffalo Bills-early-90s" syndrome and couldn't get it done in the big game. New York is ridiculously famous, but I'm not sure I trust her to run her own life let alone the country (plus who would care about a celebrity endorsement from Tailor Made). Csonka might've taken the competition in the 80s as the American Gladiator host, but now he's been replaced in popular culture by Hulk Hogan. During my childhood, no one ever recovered from Hogan, and I don't think Czonka could either.
If you get taken out by the founder of the nWo, receive a nickname from Flavor Flav or play for the Philadelphia Eagles (disclaimer: Go Redskins), VP is the end of the line.
The Obama / Clinton Pantheon
Dick Clark (TV and radio legend), Lou Reed (Rock legend), Aaron Sorkin (writer of "A Few Good Men" and "The West Wing"), Jerry Stiller (actor), Marvson McCostarico (legendary sports broadcaster*)
The Bill Richardson / Mike Huckabee (Vice) Presidential Realm
Tom Everett Scott (actor), Donovan McNabb (Eagles QB), New York (VH1 fixture), Larry Csonka (Ex-NFL player and original announcer for American Gladiator)
Richardson is the governor of New Mexico who was flirting with being a top-three Democratic candidate but has recently fallen short in the primaries. In the Richardson Realm, these former undergrads clearly are not out of the conversation, but something is missing (except for Scott. I bet he wouldn't pass the electability test, but he was Shades in "That Thing You Do," so he gets a pass).
For instance, McNabb is great, but his Eagles had "Buffalo Bills-early-90s" syndrome and couldn't get it done in the big game. New York is ridiculously famous, but I'm not sure I trust her to run her own life let alone the country (plus who would care about a celebrity endorsement from Tailor Made). Csonka might've taken the competition in the 80s as the American Gladiator host, but now he's been replaced in popular culture by Hulk Hogan. During my childhood, no one ever recovered from Hogan, and I don't think Czonka could either.
If you get taken out by the founder of the nWo, receive a nickname from Flavor Flav or play for the Philadelphia Eagles (disclaimer: Go Redskins), VP is the end of the line.
The Obama / Clinton Pantheon
Dick Clark (TV and radio legend), Lou Reed (Rock legend), Aaron Sorkin (writer of "A Few Good Men" and "The West Wing"), Jerry Stiller (actor), Marvson McCostarico (legendary sports broadcaster*)
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