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Forget Hollywood's perfect romances: plan the perfect Valentine's Day at SU

By Nathan Mattise
Posted: 2/11/08, 11:23 PM EST Section: Feature
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The "Not-so-cliché-variation-on-a-cliché-dinner" date

Description: Dinner is practically mandatory for Valentine's Day, but on an average dinner date, it's the food or the money spent that your date will remember. For the not-so-cliché date, it's important to create a memorable moment that could exist outside of the dinner setting but just happened to occur there.

Where you may have seen it: Examples of these pop up everywhere, but it's most celebrated in "Lady and the Tramp" (nosing a meatball to your date, eating the same spaghetti strand to culminate in a kiss) or "How Harry Met Sally" (Meg Ryan demonstrating her "acting" abilities to Billy Crystal).

How to do it at SU: You're really only limited by your imagination with this one. You could dine on some waffles down at Funk 'N Waffles, but slip a suggestion for Marvin Gaye to hit the PA system and unleash your best crooner routine. Or have your buddy who works the sandwich line in Brockway arrange the ranch dressing in a heart complete with appropriate initials and a lettuce plus sign. If faking an orgasm can romantically bring two people together over a meal, I'm not sure there's a way to mess this one up.

The "How-counter-culture-are-we?-This-is-an-(insert weird location)" date

Description: Think of the least romantic place you could ever plan to take a date, take them, then somehow through Cupid's graces and your miraculous charm it all works out.

Where you may have seen it: Classic examples of the counter culture date are in "Garden State" (not only is there a third wheel, Braff takes Portman to a garbage dump in the pouring rain) and "The Lion King" (Simba and Nala get their young groove on in an elephant graveyard).

How to do it at SU: For starters, there is Oakwood graveyard and with all the Sci Tech construction, the site is as good as a garbage dump momentarily. Other nominees for least romantic place on campus would be the College Place bus stop, the Booth parking garage and the Physics Building.

So there you have it. Rip this out, fold it up and shove it in your pocket just in case. We all know what Pat Benatar said (pssst… "Love is a battlefield"), so it couldn't hurt to be a little more prepared this year.

Nathan Mattise is a pop-culture columnist for The Daily Orange where his columns appear on Tuesdays. If you're wondering - no, he won't be making potato figurines with his beau on V-Day. Who would have a beau weird enough to even know what they are? Mattise can be reached at nzmattis@syr.edu.
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