Spring Break
The Daily OrangeEveryone turns into a doctor when I'm sick
By Scott Spinelli
Posted: 2/27/08, 10:37 PM EST Section: Feature
My favorite is the suggestive response. Even as I write this now, I'm embarrassed to admit that not only have I been given this suggestion, but I've made it to others as well.
"You know what you should do, go down to the health center."
Wow, there's a novel concept. Health center, you say? Don't tell me there are doctors there too?
In the mean time, I've tried all sorts of methods to clear my throat up. Hot water with salt (that one makes very little practical sense, but my mom told me to, so I couldn't tell let her down). Orange juice (for the vitamin C, though ironically at this school, the dining hall orange juice is disgusting). And tea. Lots and lots of tea.
I don't particularly like tea, nor do I know how to make it. I get the general gist - hot water, bag of seeds. Still, there has to be some technique to it, because the cups I've brewed have been wretched. There's nothing worse than tea that's either warm or (gasp!) cold.
As if the lack of enjoyable taste sensation wasn't enough, now the value of hot liquid has vanished. At this point, I'd like to drink lava. It's thicker, and, from what I read, it's incredibly hot.
Without getting on too much of a tangent, I will say, I have a theory with regard to hot drinks. Whether it's coffee or tea or hot cocoa or that unidentifiable chai nonsense, people love carrying around boiling beverages. It makes them feel important, like adults. Sometimes, I'll put orange juice in one of those coffee containers to make myself feel older, kind of like Tom Hanks in "Big".
As painful as it may be, the key to whole "sore throat" routine is the raspy voice. Without it, no one believes you. If you "hurt" your leg, you better pray you have a limp. Otherwise, you're just another college kid with a Harvard medical degree and a propensity to exaggerate your own illnesses. Join the club.
Scott Spinelli is the humor columnist for The Daily Orange where his columns appear on Thursdays. He can be reached at saspinel@syr.edu. If you're looking for fun: battle mode on "Mario Kart" with Luigi.
"You know what you should do, go down to the health center."
Wow, there's a novel concept. Health center, you say? Don't tell me there are doctors there too?
In the mean time, I've tried all sorts of methods to clear my throat up. Hot water with salt (that one makes very little practical sense, but my mom told me to, so I couldn't tell let her down). Orange juice (for the vitamin C, though ironically at this school, the dining hall orange juice is disgusting). And tea. Lots and lots of tea.
I don't particularly like tea, nor do I know how to make it. I get the general gist - hot water, bag of seeds. Still, there has to be some technique to it, because the cups I've brewed have been wretched. There's nothing worse than tea that's either warm or (gasp!) cold.
As if the lack of enjoyable taste sensation wasn't enough, now the value of hot liquid has vanished. At this point, I'd like to drink lava. It's thicker, and, from what I read, it's incredibly hot.
Without getting on too much of a tangent, I will say, I have a theory with regard to hot drinks. Whether it's coffee or tea or hot cocoa or that unidentifiable chai nonsense, people love carrying around boiling beverages. It makes them feel important, like adults. Sometimes, I'll put orange juice in one of those coffee containers to make myself feel older, kind of like Tom Hanks in "Big".
As painful as it may be, the key to whole "sore throat" routine is the raspy voice. Without it, no one believes you. If you "hurt" your leg, you better pray you have a limp. Otherwise, you're just another college kid with a Harvard medical degree and a propensity to exaggerate your own illnesses. Join the club.
Scott Spinelli is the humor columnist for The Daily Orange where his columns appear on Thursdays. He can be reached at saspinel@syr.edu. If you're looking for fun: battle mode on "Mario Kart" with Luigi.
Be the first to comment on this story