Spring Break
The Daily OrangeEveryone turns into a doctor when I'm sick
By Scott Spinelli
Posted: 2/27/08, 10:37 PM EST Section: Feature
For quite some time now, one of my secret wishes was to have a raspy, deep, sexy, sore-throat voice. The sort of voice that sounds like you've been smoking Lucky Strikes since you were eight.
Over the past few days, my wish came true. I have a sore throat. Or at least, that's what I call it. I'm surprised they've had enough time to come up with a name for an illness they have no idea how to treat. At this point, I might as well have polio, as the timeline to have myself rid of it would be shorter.
I've tried those lozenges, the chloraseptic sprays. None of it works. Recently I purchased lozenges from a brand I'd never heard of before, Sucrets. Here's a sucret: you can only take one every two hours, they numb your taste buds and, oh by the way, they don't help at all.
I guess it's my turn to be sick though. It's that time of year. If you don't believe me, stop what you are doing and listen to the sounds of your class for one minute. Sniffles, loogie snorts, coughs. Everyone's got it.
Still, when whatever bug is popular that month does catch you, you act not only as if are you the first person to ever have a sore throat, but have the worst case to ever be documented.
"Can you believe this, I'm not only coughing, but my voice is sore too!"
I actually caught myself speculating that I might have a rare, uncharted form of bronchitis. What that even meant, at the time I didn't know. But, I did know my throat was hurting, and thus, it has to be something from another planet. No one has ever suffered like me.
I don't know about you, but when I'm sick, injured or ill at all, I immediately become a world-renowned physician. Somehow, everyone around you also sheds their normal personality - the hell with being a senior engineering student, junior magazine major. Their real calling has always been medicine.
It happens all over the place, for instance, immediately after an injury.
"No, no, you wouldn't be able to walk at all if you had torn your ACL. They usually have to cart the players off, so, if only by that logic, you're fine. Forget the fact that your knee feels like its slipping into the bottom half of your calf. Trust me, I watch the NFL."
Over the past few days, my wish came true. I have a sore throat. Or at least, that's what I call it. I'm surprised they've had enough time to come up with a name for an illness they have no idea how to treat. At this point, I might as well have polio, as the timeline to have myself rid of it would be shorter.
I've tried those lozenges, the chloraseptic sprays. None of it works. Recently I purchased lozenges from a brand I'd never heard of before, Sucrets. Here's a sucret: you can only take one every two hours, they numb your taste buds and, oh by the way, they don't help at all.
I guess it's my turn to be sick though. It's that time of year. If you don't believe me, stop what you are doing and listen to the sounds of your class for one minute. Sniffles, loogie snorts, coughs. Everyone's got it.
Still, when whatever bug is popular that month does catch you, you act not only as if are you the first person to ever have a sore throat, but have the worst case to ever be documented.
I actually caught myself speculating that I might have a rare, uncharted form of bronchitis. What that even meant, at the time I didn't know. But, I did know my throat was hurting, and thus, it has to be something from another planet. No one has ever suffered like me.
I don't know about you, but when I'm sick, injured or ill at all, I immediately become a world-renowned physician. Somehow, everyone around you also sheds their normal personality - the hell with being a senior engineering student, junior magazine major. Their real calling has always been medicine.
It happens all over the place, for instance, immediately after an injury.
"No, no, you wouldn't be able to walk at all if you had torn your ACL. They usually have to cart the players off, so, if only by that logic, you're fine. Forget the fact that your knee feels like its slipping into the bottom half of your calf. Trust me, I watch the NFL."
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