Spring Break
The Daily OrangeYou have to wonder what their parents were thinking...
By Talia Pollock
Posted: 10/22/08, 5:14 AM EST Section: Feature
Our vice presidential candidate has gone down the alternative-name road as well. Sarah Palin's kids are dubbed Bristol, Piper, Track, Willow and Trig - perhaps she should have named one of them Maverick instead.
Are such names are supposed to give a kid a leg up in the world? I would love to know just how far a parent thinks their precious Tragedy, Dung or Loveless is going to go in life. I also wonder if little Armani, Canon, Timberland, Lexus, Jaguar, Toyota and Xerox are going to feel uncomfortable using any other brand than themselves.
At least Vienna and Texas will never forget the spelling of their locations, and I sure hope Thyme, Cappuccino, Bologna, Gouda, Oat and Cherry will never get sick of themselves. Truth, Sincerity and Wisdom must live out their meaning, Espn has got to love sports and Champion better be the man. Legend could probably sue Will Smith and make good money for jacking his name.
Sparkle, Special, Vanity, Cotton, Cashmere, Luscious and Turquoise are pretty much screwed; but Atom, Whisper, Nature, Desperate, Dilemma and Emancipation aren't in a much better position.
If baby girl Apple took a trip to Spain would she be called Manzana? Would Blue be Azul?
Wacky names make a teacher's job all the more challenging.
On the first day of school, teachers are worried about butchering a name like Anna, or mixing up Kristen and Kirsten, let alone correctly pronouncing a moniker like Cilla or Ptolemy (silent P?). Names like that are enough to make a teacher hand in her chalk right then and there.
In retrospect, having a name like Talia isn't all that bad. It's unique enough that I have to custom-order everything, and common enough that others don't laugh in my face. But for others with a hell of a name to bubble into those Scantrons, there's always the name-changing bureau … or fleeing the country.
Talia Pollock is a weekly pop-culture columnist for The Daily Orange, where her columns appear Wednesdays. She wants to give a shout out to her late (but totally non-fictional) cousin, Harry Tusch. Rest well, man. Talia can be reached at tpollock@syr.edu.
Are such names are supposed to give a kid a leg up in the world? I would love to know just how far a parent thinks their precious Tragedy, Dung or Loveless is going to go in life. I also wonder if little Armani, Canon, Timberland, Lexus, Jaguar, Toyota and Xerox are going to feel uncomfortable using any other brand than themselves.
At least Vienna and Texas will never forget the spelling of their locations, and I sure hope Thyme, Cappuccino, Bologna, Gouda, Oat and Cherry will never get sick of themselves. Truth, Sincerity and Wisdom must live out their meaning, Espn has got to love sports and Champion better be the man. Legend could probably sue Will Smith and make good money for jacking his name.
Sparkle, Special, Vanity, Cotton, Cashmere, Luscious and Turquoise are pretty much screwed; but Atom, Whisper, Nature, Desperate, Dilemma and Emancipation aren't in a much better position.
If baby girl Apple took a trip to Spain would she be called Manzana? Would Blue be Azul?
Wacky names make a teacher's job all the more challenging.
On the first day of school, teachers are worried about butchering a name like Anna, or mixing up Kristen and Kirsten, let alone correctly pronouncing a moniker like Cilla or Ptolemy (silent P?). Names like that are enough to make a teacher hand in her chalk right then and there.
In retrospect, having a name like Talia isn't all that bad. It's unique enough that I have to custom-order everything, and common enough that others don't laugh in my face. But for others with a hell of a name to bubble into those Scantrons, there's always the name-changing bureau … or fleeing the country.
Talia Pollock is a weekly pop-culture columnist for The Daily Orange, where her columns appear Wednesdays. She wants to give a shout out to her late (but totally non-fictional) cousin, Harry Tusch. Rest well, man. Talia can be reached at tpollock@syr.edu.
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