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You have to wonder what their parents were thinking...

By Talia Pollock
Posted: 10/22/08, 5:14 AM EST Section: Feature
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Having the name Talia makes going to souvenir shops a waste of time. I don't even bother looking through the swiveling stands of magnets anymore. The closest paraphernalia to my name I've ever found was a T-shirt with "Italia" on the front, on which I oh-so-cleverly crossed off the first "I".

I still remember my sophomore year of high school, when a little freshman - also named Talia - waltzed in, single-handedly stealing my uniqueness. Man, was I bummed.

Luckily, now, parents are doing their best to avoid the occurrence of such a situation. The names of children coming out the chute these days are simply mind-boggling. They make you wonder exactly what drugs the parents had been doing, or just how severely they were dropped on their heads as kids.

Folks are naming their children after a spectacular array of things: places, types of food, prized possessions, sports, values, adjectives and random nouns. The Skyy (a boy name) really is the limit.

Some people have such a hard time deciding their child's name that they settle on an awkward blend of names, like Ashlynn, Rylan, or British model Jordan Andre's daughter, Princess Tiaamii (a mix between Thea and Amy). I thought we had all learned from Phoebe in "Friends" that Princess as a name was a no-no after her experiment with Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.

Other parents have chosen what is termed a "convertible name": a long name that, according to Psychology Today, collapses into a normal word, like the name Charles Henry Underhill Grisham Sernovitz, which was apparently coined for the brilliant college nickname CHUGS.

Celebrities are no exception.

As if famous kids won't be screwed up enough, their Tinseltown mommies and daddies are giving them absolutely no hope of normalcy. Geri Halliwell's daughter is Bluebell Madonna, Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf's kid is Pilot Inspektor, Shannyn Sossamon's son is Audio Science, and Arthur Ashe and Jeanne Moutoussamy's child is Camera.
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