Spring Break
The Daily OrangeThe top five places for maximum exposure
By Danny Fersh
Posted: 9/9/09, 1:17 AM EST Section: Feature
Last year I got shut out in a pong game with some friends. Unfortunately, my buddies play for keeps.
It took months of cold weather, scheduling conflicts and an entire summer, but last weekend they decided I would serve my punishment: a naked lap around a South Campus apartment building.
We went to a friend's apartment, near Lambreth Lane, for a party. After some handshakes and smiles, we agreed it was time to take the plunge.
I slipped out the door and stripped down to my underwear. Then, with a nod to my friends, I pulled off my boxers and sprinted across the front of the building.
With the wind blowing in my face (and everywhere else imaginable), I stumbled around the first turn and ran right past two girls. One girl turned to the other and asked, "Is that guy wearing any pants?"
Now in back of the building, I ran down the home stretch to the raucous applause of about 15 friends who had exited the party and were now staring straight at my junk. It was high school all over again.
Once I got back to the apartment, I slipped on my boxers and couldn't help feeling an overwhelming sense of exhilaration. Half-naked, breathless and packed with liquid courage, one thought kept streaking through my head: "Nudity is fun!"
So, to spread the joy, I compiled a list of five great places for public nudity. Readers, it is time for you to sit back, relax and take notes. And then take off your pants:
Job Interview - There is no better way to leave a lasting impression on your future employers (and their vinyl chair) than to show up for an interview in your birthday suit. If all goes well, you'll come off as poised and confident - but not too confident. It might get awkward.
First Date - Nothing says, "I want to be in a mature relationship," more than showing up at the door wearing a nice pair of loafers and a top hat. And nothing else. Unfortunately, most classy restaurants have a dress code. So wear your nice sock(s).
It took months of cold weather, scheduling conflicts and an entire summer, but last weekend they decided I would serve my punishment: a naked lap around a South Campus apartment building.
We went to a friend's apartment, near Lambreth Lane, for a party. After some handshakes and smiles, we agreed it was time to take the plunge.
I slipped out the door and stripped down to my underwear. Then, with a nod to my friends, I pulled off my boxers and sprinted across the front of the building.
With the wind blowing in my face (and everywhere else imaginable), I stumbled around the first turn and ran right past two girls. One girl turned to the other and asked, "Is that guy wearing any pants?"
Now in back of the building, I ran down the home stretch to the raucous applause of about 15 friends who had exited the party and were now staring straight at my junk. It was high school all over again.
Once I got back to the apartment, I slipped on my boxers and couldn't help feeling an overwhelming sense of exhilaration. Half-naked, breathless and packed with liquid courage, one thought kept streaking through my head: "Nudity is fun!"
So, to spread the joy, I compiled a list of five great places for public nudity. Readers, it is time for you to sit back, relax and take notes. And then take off your pants:
Job Interview - There is no better way to leave a lasting impression on your future employers (and their vinyl chair) than to show up for an interview in your birthday suit. If all goes well, you'll come off as poised and confident - but not too confident. It might get awkward.
First Date - Nothing says, "I want to be in a mature relationship," more than showing up at the door wearing a nice pair of loafers and a top hat. And nothing else. Unfortunately, most classy restaurants have a dress code. So wear your nice sock(s).
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
Sarah
posted 9/09/09 @ 9:24 PM EST
The puns were cute, but they got overwhelming near the end. Limit it to maybe two a piece, dude.
Innocent South Campus Bystander
posted 9/09/09 @ 9:38 PM EST
Maybe a little warning next time, buddy...
Dubes
posted 9/10/09 @ 12:32 AM EST
Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into the meat grinder???
He got a little behind in his work. hahaha, classic
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