Spring Break
The Daily OrangeWriter's block, YouTube videos and other nightly distractions
By Danny Fersh
Posted: 10/21/09, 12:33 AM EST Section: Feature
Tuesday, 4:30 a.m. - Writer's block is one of the worst things to happen in the history of mankind. It's probably not as bad as most wars, but it's definitely worse than "Grey's Anatomy," which is really saying something.
For most, the blockage comes when academic success is at stake. Whether it's the night before a big paper is due for a Maxwell course, the end of the essay portion of a history exam or mid-coitus for Human Sexuality, there's just no opportune time to get this horrific condition. Though, to be fair, most guys would MUCH rather get writer's block mid-coitus than erectile dysfunction. Or herpes for that matter.
For me, writer's block always happens at the same time, in the same place: the wee hours of Tuesday morning in the Watson lounge. I sit here alone, hoping for inspiration as I ponder life's profound queries, pose deep philosophical questions and -more often than not- watching dirty YouTube clips on my laptop.
For instance, sometimes I wonder, "If nobody were around to hear the strange moaning noises coming from my computer right now, would the Congolese chimp that's creating them really be making a sound?" In all honesty, I have no idea, but the school children surrounding the ape seem to hear him loud and clear.
Other times I'll stare at the stars and consider what meaning lies behind mankind's very existence. Are we here for a purpose? Are we supposed to spend hours on end in front of a computer screen trying to figure out where that naked couple hid all that money they just showed to the camera? Are we meant for something more than pole-vaulting into a pool of KY jelly while wearing nothing but spandex?
But not this week. I don't have time to wonder, ponder, consider, pontificate or even
mass read novels. It's 5 a.m. on a Tuesday, my deadline is in 15 hours and I have no free time once my classes start in six hours. In other words, I'm hungry, sleepy and monumentally screwed.
You see there are a million topics I could write about just waiting for me to find them. But all I can think about is the stuff I CAN'T mention in a column.
For most, the blockage comes when academic success is at stake. Whether it's the night before a big paper is due for a Maxwell course, the end of the essay portion of a history exam or mid-coitus for Human Sexuality, there's just no opportune time to get this horrific condition. Though, to be fair, most guys would MUCH rather get writer's block mid-coitus than erectile dysfunction. Or herpes for that matter.
For me, writer's block always happens at the same time, in the same place: the wee hours of Tuesday morning in the Watson lounge. I sit here alone, hoping for inspiration as I ponder life's profound queries, pose deep philosophical questions and -more often than not- watching dirty YouTube clips on my laptop.
For instance, sometimes I wonder, "If nobody were around to hear the strange moaning noises coming from my computer right now, would the Congolese chimp that's creating them really be making a sound?" In all honesty, I have no idea, but the school children surrounding the ape seem to hear him loud and clear.
Other times I'll stare at the stars and consider what meaning lies behind mankind's very existence. Are we here for a purpose? Are we supposed to spend hours on end in front of a computer screen trying to figure out where that naked couple hid all that money they just showed to the camera? Are we meant for something more than pole-vaulting into a pool of KY jelly while wearing nothing but spandex?
But not this week. I don't have time to wonder, ponder, consider, pontificate or even
mass read novels. It's 5 a.m. on a Tuesday, my deadline is in 15 hours and I have no free time once my classes start in six hours. In other words, I'm hungry, sleepy and monumentally screwed.
You see there are a million topics I could write about just waiting for me to find them. But all I can think about is the stuff I CAN'T mention in a column.
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