The Daily OrangeAccepting adult responsibility in small doses
By Danny Fersh
Posted: 11/11/09, 1:46 AM EST Section: Feature
About a month ago, I discovered "Secret Girlfriend" on Comedy Central. It's genius.
The show's premise is that you, the viewer, are the main character. You're presumably a man in your early to mid-20s, and live with your two hilarious best friends in a beautiful Southern California apartment complex where you do pretty much whatever the hell you want. Your whole life is an endless parade of sunshine, parties and sexy women.
Needless to say, I'm incredibly jealous of - um, myself.
Every week I sit in front of the TV, and wonder why I can't just camp out in the sun all day and bang every hot girl that comes near me like my on-screen alter ego (literally - watch the show and tell me that this guy isn't batting 1.000. It's like soft-core porn.).
Granted, I do nail MOST of the girls I meet here at Syracuse, but now that I'm a sophomore with aspirations to study abroad, graduate early and get a good summer internship, I have actual responsibilities for the first time in my life.
For example, last week I had my most serious conversation all semester:
My roommate, Sam, walked into our common room, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Hey, we don't have anywhere to live next year."
I was speechless.
Luckily my fellow suitemate, Abram, was ready with a response: "Yea, we should really start looking for … OH S***! 'BARBERSHOP 2' IS ON!"
Even when I ignore my housing issues for next year, just about all other phases of my life are forcing me to become an adult - or at least a mature young man. Or at least someone who doesn't spend his Saturdays wearing a lampshade, using his index finger as a mustache and demanding that everyone address him as "Master Sensei Fersh."
This week I have to start planning my academic course load for the next two semesters. Do you have any idea how unnerving that is to a guy who still cracks penis jokes every time Subway runs a "Five Dollar Foot Long" commercial? I'm panicking.
For once, I don't have the time to focus on the future now that my current classes actually require work. Don't tell my parents, but my freshman schedule was about as hard as grandpa without his Viagra. This year my major dominates my life more than my Jewish mother, my Spanish minor es muy dificil, and my electives are - OK, my electives are still a joke, but that still makes for a tough schedule.
The show's premise is that you, the viewer, are the main character. You're presumably a man in your early to mid-20s, and live with your two hilarious best friends in a beautiful Southern California apartment complex where you do pretty much whatever the hell you want. Your whole life is an endless parade of sunshine, parties and sexy women.
Needless to say, I'm incredibly jealous of - um, myself.
Every week I sit in front of the TV, and wonder why I can't just camp out in the sun all day and bang every hot girl that comes near me like my on-screen alter ego (literally - watch the show and tell me that this guy isn't batting 1.000. It's like soft-core porn.).
Granted, I do nail MOST of the girls I meet here at Syracuse, but now that I'm a sophomore with aspirations to study abroad, graduate early and get a good summer internship, I have actual responsibilities for the first time in my life.
For example, last week I had my most serious conversation all semester:
My roommate, Sam, walked into our common room, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Hey, we don't have anywhere to live next year."
I was speechless.
Luckily my fellow suitemate, Abram, was ready with a response: "Yea, we should really start looking for … OH S***! 'BARBERSHOP 2' IS ON!"
Even when I ignore my housing issues for next year, just about all other phases of my life are forcing me to become an adult - or at least a mature young man. Or at least someone who doesn't spend his Saturdays wearing a lampshade, using his index finger as a mustache and demanding that everyone address him as "Master Sensei Fersh."
This week I have to start planning my academic course load for the next two semesters. Do you have any idea how unnerving that is to a guy who still cracks penis jokes every time Subway runs a "Five Dollar Foot Long" commercial? I'm panicking.
For once, I don't have the time to focus on the future now that my current classes actually require work. Don't tell my parents, but my freshman schedule was about as hard as grandpa without his Viagra. This year my major dominates my life more than my Jewish mother, my Spanish minor es muy dificil, and my electives are - OK, my electives are still a joke, but that still makes for a tough schedule.
Viewing Comments 1 - 7 of 9
Mike
posted 11/11/09 @ 7:43 AM EST
What the hell is your article even about? I know the people here in LA that make "secret girlfriend", I'm even buddies with Derek Miller... so thanks for the props on the show. (Continued…)
Chad
posted 11/11/09 @ 12:09 PM EST
This column and writer is an embarrassment to Syracuse University and the DO. I love reading the DO on line as an alum. I keep thinking that this writer may redeem himself one of these days. (Continued…)
Katie
posted 11/11/09 @ 12:55 PM EST
Calm down people. Don't you remember being a sophmore in college when where you were going to live next year and class scheduling were your biggest concerns? Let the kid revel in the awesomeness that is college at SU and ramble about girls and Barbershop 2. (Continued…)
Hari Iyer
posted 11/12/09 @ 3:01 AM EST
Ha! This article is brilliant, some honest, jocular wit that is mildly offensive to the majority of people. Definitely what I like to see.
Danny- If graduating early is due to personal/financial reasons, I totally respect your decision. (Continued…)
H. Jay S.
posted 11/12/09 @ 10:37 AM EST
Don't you hate pants?
08BroadcastAlum
posted 11/12/09 @ 3:16 PM EST
Are you trying to be funny? You just took away a few minutes of my life I'll never get back.
I hope your future potential employers find this garbage. (Continued…)
L. Jon Lee Anderson
posted 11/13/09 @ 1:36 PM EST
Sure, this guy sucks. His humor arsenal consists of banal drinking tales, paeans about why chicks don't dig him and GED-level jokes. He ain't funny. We all know this. (Continued…)
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