The Daily OrangeFive tips to avoid Thanksgiving dinner audience
By Danny Fersh
Posted: 11/18/09, 3:33 AM EST Section: Feature
Most people have mixed feelings about Thanksgiving. On the one hand, it's a great holiday full of family, friends, delicious food and football. On the other hand, it's chockfull of awkward encounters with strange relatives, like the uncle who always wants you to pull his finger, the aunt who asks awkward questions about your personal life, and the cousin you mistakenly hit on at a wedding.
For me, Turkey Day is a blast. I toss a football around with my brothers, eat my mom's delicious stuffing, crack sex jokes with my perverted older cousins and fall asleep face first in a pool of sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie and my own drool. Delish.
But it wasn't always that way. For the longest time I couldn't stand eating a meal and watching football with dozens of relatives. Maybe it was because I was too young to appreciate it or because I hated the idea of sharing food with that many people. Maybe it had to do with my traumatic childhood experience involving my brother, a turkey baster, cold gravy and my brand-new corduroys.
Regardless, now that I've figured out how to enjoy the holiday, I can't wait to celebrate it. You see, loving Thanksgiving is a learned skill, not an inherited trait.
It takes timing, preparation and effort to maximize the food on your plate, minimize your role in the post-meal clean-up, stake out a seat on the couch for the football game and avoid interrogation into your college life.
If you're like me, this stuff is just like riding a stolen Segway: second nature. If not, you could be in for a long holiday. So, for your benefit, I compiled a list of five easy tips for a fun Thanksgiving:
1. Wear comfortable clothes. So many people lose out on what should be the feast of the year because they're concerned about fitting into their pants. My suggestion: Lose the pants altogether. If that doesn't fly with your family, then ask your mom for some maternity pants. Those bad boys should stretch right out as your stomach expands with delicious turkey. Plus, they go well with argyle sweaters. Go figure.
For me, Turkey Day is a blast. I toss a football around with my brothers, eat my mom's delicious stuffing, crack sex jokes with my perverted older cousins and fall asleep face first in a pool of sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie and my own drool. Delish.
But it wasn't always that way. For the longest time I couldn't stand eating a meal and watching football with dozens of relatives. Maybe it was because I was too young to appreciate it or because I hated the idea of sharing food with that many people. Maybe it had to do with my traumatic childhood experience involving my brother, a turkey baster, cold gravy and my brand-new corduroys.
Regardless, now that I've figured out how to enjoy the holiday, I can't wait to celebrate it. You see, loving Thanksgiving is a learned skill, not an inherited trait.
It takes timing, preparation and effort to maximize the food on your plate, minimize your role in the post-meal clean-up, stake out a seat on the couch for the football game and avoid interrogation into your college life.
If you're like me, this stuff is just like riding a stolen Segway: second nature. If not, you could be in for a long holiday. So, for your benefit, I compiled a list of five easy tips for a fun Thanksgiving:
1. Wear comfortable clothes. So many people lose out on what should be the feast of the year because they're concerned about fitting into their pants. My suggestion: Lose the pants altogether. If that doesn't fly with your family, then ask your mom for some maternity pants. Those bad boys should stretch right out as your stomach expands with delicious turkey. Plus, they go well with argyle sweaters. Go figure.
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